So How Long?

So how long,
until your manipulative mind is satisfied,
till you let me be,
till you stop pretending I lied,
till you stop controling me?
So how long,
will it be until you leave me alone,
till you stop penalizing me for one mistake,
so how long will it be.
Mommy I thought I understood you for once,
Mommy I thought we were at peace,
well at least you could stop reminding me,
of little things I do.
You say I'm self centerd,
well would you like me to live me life JUST for you?
You stood in the kitchen while I sliced your fucking lemons,
and in your superior way,
you always seem to use,
to abuse me,
I heavily debated plunging my knife,
into your heart.
You said I was cold and calculating,
that I trapped you into things,
but mommy,
mom,
mother,
Susan
I'm not. 
So how long until you let me be,
who I am on my own,
how long are you going to feed on my guilt and pain,
you're driving me insane with your restrictions,
and your predictions of my future,
I'll do what I want mom...
so how long?

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