Thirty-Five Cents

Nowhere to run tonight,
standing by the payphone,
thirty-five cents in my hand
the dial tone falling freely
around the silence of midnight.
Strangers watch me,
tearstained face
all I want is a kind word tonight.
I want to stand and scream
so they remember
my body, bloodied and obscene against
the backdrop of a Los Angeles sky tonight.
Remember the green eyes turned red
pale skin turned blue in the cold
strong woman turned
trembling girl
in the palm of God's hand tonight.
Numbers trip through my fingers
faces disconnected, only
various voices hinged in guilt
the "I'm sorry" no one ever spoke.
The love I give
how I'll never live
or I can only hope tonight.
I died a while back
don't remember when.
But then the phone stopped ringing
I stopped sleeping
and slowly I watched
the girl turn woman
slowly I watched
the day turn night
slowly I watched
red blood drain
slowly I watched
eyes cut with pain.
I lost myself and
everywhere I had to hide.
I don't want to talk
just want to walk a little farther now
hanging on the edge tonight
bordering on black-out
where is my solace
my one safe place
God forsaken
innocence taken
pulsing between tender thighs.
There is no end 

(c) 2001 by (++)Laura(++). All Rights Reserved

My Subliminal Guide To Insanity